Justice MH: A mother learns to love and respect her son for who he is. Better late than never!
Dear Abby: My husband and I raised our two sons and two daughters. One son and both daughters married well. Our other son, “Neil,” is gay. He and his partner, “Ron,” have been together 15 years, but Neil’s father and I never wanted to know Ron because we disapproved of their lifestyle.
When I was 74, my husband died, leaving me in ill health and nearly penniless. No longer able to live alone, I asked my married son and two daughters if I could “visit” each of them for four months a year. (I thought living out of a suitcase would be best for everyone.) All three turned me down.
When Neil and Ron heard what had happened, they invited me to live with them. They welcomed me into their home, and removed a wall between two rooms so I’d have a bedroom with a private bath and sitting room. They also include me in many of their plans. Since I moved in with them, I have traveled more than I have my whole life. They never mention that they are supporting me, or that I ignored them.
When old friends ask how it feels living with my gay son, I tell them I hope they’re lucky enough to have one who will take them in one day. Please continue urging your readers to accept their children as they are. My only regret is that I wasted 15 years. – Grateful Mom
Dear Grateful Mom: You are fortunate to have such a loving, generous and forgiving son. Sexual orientation is not a measure of anyone’s humanity or worth. Thank you for pointing out how important it is that people respect each other for who they are, not what we would like them to be.
You could have learned that lesson long ago, had you and your husband contacted Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) when you first learned that Neil was gay. Among other things, the organization offers support groups and education for parents who need to learn more about gender issues. The address is 1726 M St. N.W., Suite 400, Washington, D.C. 20036.
Justice MH's Final Thoughts: Abby told it like it is. This mother could learn this lesson alot sooner. She would have seen her same old son, and that who he loves doesn't matter. If it's male/female or male/male or female/female it's all beautiful. Love is always proper, and God is love too! This mother is bless with a son who happen to be gay, who takes care of her, and didn't hold any negativity towards her. This mother has showed how important it is that people respect each other for who they are, not what we would like them to be!
